I need to do a number 1, but I am sitting frozen on my chair afraid to leave the office. Reason? I am working from a different location, and I am afraid that the head of the department may see through my facade and confront me. Already, we didn’t start of a good note. Everyday, I wake up and go to work hoping and praying that no one discovers that I don’t really know what I am doing.
Working in this location has its advantage and disadvantages for me. The advantage is that I can escape from TGIF at the office. On Fridays, I have to play songs because I am the only one that uses a Mac, and a Mac is loud. It’s also one of my unofficial duties. It can be unnerving trying to work and meditate while the repulsive music of Asake is blasting directly into my ears. After every TGIF, I always feel like I need a purgatory, my computer too. Another advantage is that I can also escape from the pressure and the deliverables that don’t like me.
The disadvantage is that this new location has a lot of people, and it is also unnerving being in their midst. I naturally do not like being in crowds. It’s an infirmity, and I don’t think it’s a good thing. I also don’t know if it’s a good thing that nobody tries to talk to me. I guess I could attribute it to being uncomely. My shy nature manifests itself in another dimension here. I cannot describe the unease I feel whenever I am here; it feels like I don’t belong. Well, I don’t, and that’s not to make you feel pity for me. I actually do not belong in this department. How I found myself here is something only God understands.
One day, I’ll write about this season of my life. But for now, let me please God to the uttermost as I try to navigate life in this turbulence.
P.S: I did not write this out of boredom. I wrote it to take my mind off from my present distress — to get up and walk to the toilet.
Another P.S: I don’t think I can cope here. I thought I would enjoy it but I am soooo I don’t know.
16:51. She already left, and I just came back from the toilet. Mission Accomplished.
