It’s been Seven Years since my Father Left

It’s different when your father leaves and there’s nothing he can do to help it. But it’s heartwrenching when your father is alive and leaves his family. Almost like he eloped and didn’t have a plan B for them.

My Father left seven years ago with no communication on whether he would return. Seven years later, he maintains the barest communication with us. Still hasn’t mentioned any plan to return or even bring us over.

I can’t say if it’s a good thing that he left. Because when he was still here with us, with my mum, it was just a dark time for all of us. No one was happy. The psychological trauma my brother and I went through. Sometimes, I wonder how I came out sane.

But…

I have forgiven my parents, my dad especially, for not being there for the past 2 decades of my life. My earliest memories of him were fun as a little 4 year old girl. I know he cared in some way. He always ensured I made my hair. He taught me music. I’m convinced he tried. I know things became tougher, and now, I no longer put all the blame on him for his actions. He also needed help.

My scars are healing up. My pain is reducing. My shell is slowly wearing off. I’m thankful to Jesus. I’m thankful I’ve found a Father in Him. I’m thankful for the people He has surrounded me with. Love feels strange to me sometimes. Rejection used to be garment. But Hallelujah, praise the Lord. Jesus loves me.

I try to reach out but it’s unreciprocated.He shows no interest in our lives, mine especially. He tries for my brother, to help him. But with me, it’s just the random Facebook videos he occasionally sends on being a submissive wife. Never a ‘how are you?’ I’m happy he wished me a happy birthday this year and bought some gowns for me. He also paid for my glasses last year. So I’ll convince myself that I still have a Father. And I will receive grace to keep praying for him.

In the meantime, I am not alone. I’ll be fine. My relationship has become better with my mother. And I am thankful to God. We’ve both burned our bridges. I just wish a miracle would happen and they would come back together. I’ve never seen them together.

The effects of a broken home are devastating.